I know that there are many types of people in this cruel and wonderful world of ours, and I guess that it’d be wrong of me to try and classify people into groups, but during my observations of the people about me, I have discovered two very clear groups… those who like to be around people, and those who don’t.
After spending many hours considering this discovery, I had to admit to myself, that I am, without a doubt, part of that second group… the ones who prefer the company of themselves. Why? It’s not so much that I don’t like people, because (though for the most part I would agree with this statement) there are many out there who have made living my life a real pleasure. It’s not even that I feel uncomfortable around large numbers of people, because again, I usually do quite well in those situations. I have no problems maintaining conversations, and I’m a perfectly agreeable person, so I don’t really find myself in awkward social circumstances.
The reason, I think, I prefer my own company, is because, I’m far less likely to let myself down, than the people around me are. I guess that is somewhat of a harsh statement to make… but almost everyone I have ever emotionally invested in has let me down… or worse, I have let them down. That’s what hurts me the most, I mean, of course it hurts when people let you down, but the biggest hurt comes from within… when it’s my fault that someone else is hurting… that is, unforgivable. I’ve tried running, and I’ve tried standing firm… and still, I struggle to find forgiveness for the pains and hurts of my past.
So I come back to my opening points… I’m better off alone. I find comfort being by myself, I know me. I know my faults and my flaws, my likes and my dislikes, my wants and my needs.
I miss my Nana, she always knew what to say.