Lost In…

Dear Void,

How do you deal with a broken heart?

You’d think by now, I’d be a master. But here I am, heart thrown to the curb, left broken, beaten and exposed. But there’s a difference, because this time, it’s been beaten in every single way.

My heart is gone. I can’t feel it anymore… I’ve lost it. I guess that’s where my whole rant about loss came from. I feel like I’ve lost everything. This isn’t heartbreak caused by a break-up, this is heartbreak caused by losing your world. Have you ever woken up one day, and realize you lost yourself somewhere along the way, but you don’t know where?

Well that’s me. I woke up a one day, and realized I’d lost myself months ago. In fact I lost myself even way before that. My world faded away and I didn’t even notice. I think I got caught up with it all, the fast paced lives we live. We don’t even stop to notice that we’re running on empty. But after some time, there’s a rattling noise and the engine starts to conk out. And then it hits you… I’m empty. For some of us, we’ll realize we’re empty but still try to press on, and we just try to press on, and some of us, realize we’re empty far too late, and the damage has already been done.

It’s not a nice experience to go through… waking up and not recognizing yourself… and worse, realizing that you haven’t recognized yourself in a long, long time. What does one do in that situation? This question is not intended as rhetorical, but as a genuine, response needed one. What do I do? How do I find myself? (I’m not talking about some quest into the jungles of the amazon in an attempt to search for my soul, or sitting in some chair, in some office, talking to some guy about my childhood). Do I go back… retrace my steps? Find where I left myself? Or do I use this opportunity to reinvent myself? Do I suck it up, and deal with it? Or stop complaining all together?

For now, we’ll leave it at this. Thanks

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This entry was published on August 4, 2010 at 4:48 am. It’s filed under Dear Void and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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