Loss… it’s not what we want

“Sometimes we lose friends for whose loss our regret is greater than our grief, and others for whom our grief is greater than our regret.”  – François de la Rochefoucauld

One of the most common themes in life, is loss. Loss of a friend, a loved one, loss of a thing or many things, loss of a house, loss of a game or of a competition etc. Loss is something most of us face daily, on a scale that ranges from the smallest of things to the most monumental of things. This scale ranges from the smallest loss, such as losing a paper clip, right through to the loss of life, or even further, the loss of many lives. I think the loss of human life tops the scale. I can’t really think of anything that I’d say was worse. Maybe loss of love, whilst you’re still living?

I don’t really want this post to be morbid and depressing, but for some reason, the idea of loss has been playing on my heart since I posted earlier. So what do I feel like I’ve lost since then? I have no idea to be honest, maybe a friendship? Maybe a little part of myself? Maybe both?

We all have things we don’t want to lose… I guess that goes without saying. The very definition of the word loss (loss: detriment, disadvantage, or deprivation from failure to keep, have, or get), shows that loss is often the opposite of what we want. We don’t lose things we don’t want, whereas we do vary rarely dispose of the things we want intentionally. I could probably list a million and one things I’ve lost, that I’d prefer to have kept. Some of those things I have already mentioned in the past… K, the girl I loved, for example. If I could go back and change things, I probably would. And I have lost so many friends, that I’d prefer to have kept…

I link back to my last post, where I gave the definition of the word Mistake… mistakes are made by lack of judgement, and loss comes about from the same I think. (of course I’m not talking about death, you can live a perfect life and you’ll experience the loss of people/pets)… but the loss of a friendship, well, that’s usually caused by a mistake right? Maybe someone said something, or acted in a certain way… and before you know it, two months has passed and the rift between you has grown so wide and is now filled with discontent, unease and anger.

It’s hard to correct this kind of mistake, often pride gets in the way. I’m no stranger to pride, and I’m no stranger to loss. We draw from what we know right? I find swallowing my pride one of the hardest things to do, I really struggle with it. Again though, that’s what pride is… it’s ourselves built up, and to swallow your pride, is to get over yourself… to lower yourself, which is completely opposite to human nature. We’re a species that lives on building ourselves up, not breaking ourselves down.

Well, to everyone I have lost, by means of my own actions, words or mistakes… I’m sorry. I want to experience gain, not loss. (I don’t mean financial gain, our any self crap, I just mean, personal gain i.e. fulfillment). I want to wake up happy, carefree, loved and loving. That’s what I call gain. Let’s say goodbye to loss. If you’re fighting with your friend, or partner for no reason, then just swallow that pride! Walk in and say you’re sorry, wrap your arms around them and keep them held tight!

And to those of you who have recently experienced loss of a loved one or friend because of death. My heart goes out to you! And I know a thousand words of sympathy are useless. But I just want to say, that I will be loving each and everyone of you, no matter age, sex or circumstance. I may be a complete stranger, I may be just some nut writing about crap on the internet, but I’m here, and I’ll provide and ear for anyone who needs it. I think of the movie Sleepless in Seattle once again, and some of Tom Hanks lines:

“Well, I’m gonna get out of bed every morning… breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won’t have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out… and, then after a while, I won’t have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while.”

It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. Death is never an easy thing to cope with. But please, if you’re reading this and have lost someone, don’t worry about what people think. Take as long as you need, but just make sure that every day, you take a step forward, no matter how small. Don’t stagnate… because that wont help at all.  Get out of bed, breathe.

Please read the quote at the start of this post again, maybe it makes more sense now?

I think I’ll leave off here, this post took an unexpected turn… I hadn’t planned on writing about death. But, well, here we are. So yeah, thanks again void. For being here for me to ramble. I love writing here, I hope that somewhere, out there, someone likes to read this stuff. And if not, well, I’ll still keep posting.

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This entry was published on July 27, 2010 at 8:32 am. It’s filed under Dear Void and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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